Sunday, December 24, 2017



Is when you seem do nothing wrong
But the surrounding makes you do something wrong

You were clean
Until it happens

And that happened because
1. You've got so much bad thought of the surrounding, and that 'trapped things happened' is the only way that would clear your thoughts
2. It's just happen cause it's slipped that way with no one interfering the cause
3. It's a lesson to learn for all of the components. As simple as, things happen for a reason. There must be a reason, right?

So no matter what happen next, you can't blame either the situation or yourself.
It's just need some sincerity from both sides

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Last Day in October

I am right at the moment where i just jumped upon high rope on a game. It wasn’t so easy cause it took time and effort to finally have the bravery to jump. I was hesitating at the first time whether or not I continue to move forward. My enemy inside my heart kept telling I need to go back instead. I fought for my bad thought so hard.

The point is I can never lose from my bad thoughts. Yeah, I am the one whose thoughts filled with the bad thoughts which isn’t  healthy for my mind, body and soul, I know. I tryna reduce it then. It makes me remember someone who said, "don’t make it to be complicated, don’t yell cause it wont end up something good". Completely agreed with the one whose words keep spinning around my head.

Outside The Box

Being at outside the box has never been a good idea to me. 
I walk in unfamiliar surrounding. 
It seems easier if i stay inside the box. 

Twas what i thought at the first place.

North Serpong
Sept 28th 2017

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Just a mere opinion

I just wanted to tell the opinion about a guy in general.
I did mind myself if I ever think about a guy too much.
If people would say how hard it would be if you were woman.
But to me it’s even harder if you are a guy.
You have to be like, in my opinion, be the wisest creature on earth where you can't and wont hurt any woman feeling in the world. You gotta promise that.
That must have been hard to keep.
Cause guys used to share fake promises or other foolish words to any girl. Right huh?
That’s just my opinion came cross my mind.

Friday, May 12, 2017

A knife

One day I got an errand to peel off some fruits.

I immediately dragged my ass to the chair, grabbed a knife then began to peel it. As a human whose mom always got her daughter a peeled off fruit already at house, I was completely stiff in controlling the knife I held. It took days until I able to taste it. Plus, I didn't make such straight pathway of fruit rind when I peeled it off, until that time.
I found 'nother knife.
The smaller, thinner and surely it's a perfect sharp knife. Then I managed to peel the fruit better with it. I didn't cut the fruit excessively so more body of fruits were able to be eaten. I peeled it faster.

Then I think, how good it's like to be a sharper knife. Just a simple knife that able to do much, to give more, to handle great things without taking too long time to finish. I believe sharper knife has a long way to finally became what he is now.

12 Mei 2017

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Something that pictures me in the future

Here comes that day where I got several agendas in one time. Then I decided to arrive earlier to second appointment so that I could leave earlier to the next place.

The thing about coming earlier did give me something. It was family gathering at my cousin's. Each family use to bring some foods, if I arrive together with my family. Since I came earlier alone, I supposed to bring some foods, surely with my own decent money and with my own ideas. That's the moment where I know I will get used to be like this, if I come with my future family.
Since I came earlier, unlike usual, I was the one who's gonna be catched up with such what's up conversation. Or more than that, involved in gathering preparation, like core preparation.

Never had I thought to be such mature human being before. Especially the part when my cousin, the oldest child in her family -which pretty much describe me too-, led what's the gathering supposed to be like.

Until then I realize those were something that prolly picture me in the future. The future when I come to the gathering with my own family.

11 Mei 2017

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Perks of being a leader?

When you got no one to defend yourself but yourself
Everyone would point at you of what you're saying
Some people got it wrong
That's the moment where i need to collect my piece of courage into one fine action
The moment where listening more is the only one thing you have to ensure yourself to do
That time when you need to calm everybody down without showing you're freaking out
The moment where you have to convince anyone, even to yourself


Saturday, April 22, 2017

A little forgiveness

A little forgiveness is needed for those who got stiff heart.
The stubborn people would find it hard to know that they did mistakes and hard to apologize.

And yes, as a nice and warm human being it's not wrong to succumb.
We're mature enough succumbing for anyone whose heart possibly less sensitive than us. I know it's hard to give in but it's for the sake of our community around. You know, this newly born companionship that we've been seeking for in such a long time turned to soothe my soul at its finest which I won't let any of this brotherhood bond apart.

May this heart always have room to forgive and forgiven. Cause that's basically what make this mind stay in sanity without having negative vibe attached.

22 April 2017

Friday, April 21, 2017

You get what you give

Didn't I ask too much? When i did only few things.
You'll get what you give.
Meanwhile i only give few of my effort.
You know if you wanna reach the best thing, you need to have biggest heart with best willingness inside.
Seem so hard
But with Allah anything can happen when there seems to be no way.

Tangerang 21 April 2017

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Nice Figure in the ER

Being in emergency room was part of my dream.
Today i spotted a very nice figure. He got a wound in his foot. The 2nd digit manus was fractured, he fell off the ditch.
Yet he really understood about how to control his infuse drop steady and everything.
He turned out to be a doctor's uncle.
Never sure that guarantee what i saw.
Anyway, the thing is, with all the wrapped feet which can't have a single move, he tried to wake himself approaching the thick wall. And he grasped his hands through the dust in the wall, began to tayamum.
And when i saw the clock it was 12.10PM, right after the adzan.
Meanwhile, this lousy-healthy body of mine didn't move a muscle when the adzan calling.
Pardon me.
That's exactly the thing i need to fix.
Definitely i am the one who got a lot of homework to move this bloody body to pray on time :)

20 April 2017

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Forever Learner

Yay! Hello from the very first blog post in 2017. This year I somehow want some interactions, to anyone who reads, visits, likes, or dislikes this lousy blog. I guess I'll make my blog be at least visible to reach so I could have some comments below. Hahaha minta banget (?). 

This time was the thought I wrote by the end of 2016. I haven't written much in 2017, since it just begun the 2nd month, of course. Also because I have been little distracted by this lil creature in coass thingy, if you know what I mean. 

2016 has been so challenging to me. It’s the beginning of tough journey I am about to climb its top. It’s the time where you’re not only thinking about your self, but the world, the others. At the same time.

This has been the year I got forged, fell off the cliff, trampled, and slapped. I tasted a day with bitterness, sourness, uncomfortable feelings. the feeling like you're being chased by your own time. All of those things is what doesn't kill me, which make me even stronger. At the end of the day those were time that built to insist yourself to remain calm.

Everyday you have to save your energy to walk further, to the path that never been too far to reach. Day by day I got to know myself more and deeper. To know how to rise up, to sense and to be steady facing the struggle. 

The struggle is real, I know. Even though I still figure out… I believe there’s always ease comes after hard times. Surely with difficulty is ease. With difficulty is surely ease. (QS Al-Inshirah : 5-6).

This year I learn a lot, and looking for the next and other years to learn more
Never get bored to say, I am ready to be forever learner