How would I be sure if there's no hard feeling in between?

People make mistakes. I know. And other people might remember the mistakes for such a long term.

Other people may think one thing which isn't a mistake, a mistake.

Both of them will remain in anyone's mind. The first one means this person literally makes mistake. And the second one means this person accusedly makes a mistake.

And me, figuring things out if I ever get involved in any of them. Pardon my sensitive way of sensing people reaction, but I can pretty much see those hard feeling surrounded- without even knowing where it came from.

I wanted to clean the table I spill my sugars on, but there seems no chance to take the napkins.

May be I should probably have another person to have a look either there's actually the sugars I spill around or there are napkins available for me to clean it.

Oh, if this hard feeling thing only happens because of my negative thought then I have to get rid of it immediately. Cause it's so sick to act like everything's fine but you're actually pretending everything's fine.

Yogyakarta, Dec 24th 2015

is there any better word?

I wonder if there's any better word to utter one moment that left sort of inconvenient feeling upon heart;

dissapoint.

Accident :'/

Heya Lulu signing in again. Still, feeling unwell now. I don’t even know when this wound healed. I really wait for the healed. Oh God, get me well soon pleaseeee I beg to You. I still have a pain over my left foot and that one really ruins my day and it’s been 3days passed, and now better but still, sick of this wound. You know, this wound makes me couldn’t walk fluently and unbearable pain :’( it’s swelling. I couldn’t walk easily, even run.

One thing that I wanted now is I wanna run freely. Playing basketball, doing traditional dance practice are what I wanted to do next, but I have to wait til this pain over. I really do. I envy them who could run freely. I wanna be like ‘em, but the condition of my foot is impossible to do that. I….I really wanted to come back to the play yard. Doing the basketball practice! Really. Healthy is so valuable, worth. No one could buy it. Healthy is hard thing to kept. But when you get it, you just wasted it. I really regret that, I lost the chance to keep my healthy, and now I got sick because of the accident. Sickness is sucks. Trying our soul to be patient. And we have to get closer to God, begging for the healthy to come back. That’s what I did.

Well, at school I just felt better because I could see anybody’s smile so that’s gave me an inspiration to smile;) actually this wound isn’t really heavy, but I it’s hard to face. I have to be careful when going to the upstairs or downstairs and canteen. It’s such a heavy pain if I feel this heavy, but this gonna be easy if I feel this easy. You’ll never know what I feel. Yeah. At school, I just like, pretend that I’m okay but actually I’m not really okay. I could show my real expression at home, that it’s so sick. I’m weak at home. But every time I arrived at home I always pray to God to get me better.

I’m so sad every time I see my wound. I’m just thinking when this pain will end, when my healthy will return to me. And I just cried, every time I think about it. I think, I have bothered many people, such as my family, my friends, even teachers. I’m really really sorry. I wept sadly. Thank you very much of you guys’ helped :’) without you all I still couldn’t 'stand up' even maybe I’ll lose my spirit to 'stand up;. Thank you so much for cheering me up ☺ and thank God to make this pain become better;) and still begging for your blessing to get this pain more more better and I can come back to the play yard. I’d like to see you soon, the play yard! and get me very well soon :)