Jakarta

31 May 2012.

I went to my campus, actually i just wanted to check for the timing for how long it takes to go there, to the central Jakarta. That day, I witnessed the real Jakarta, it's more wild than I imagine. I was startled to see how messed up it was; the tendency being stolen at markets around the station either at the buses, the dirty air that smashed people’s face and the traffic jam that killed people's time. People can depict Jakarta as a great-hectic-full of trouble city. Fact says it kind of is. People who involve their life at Jakarta will have some benefits to themselves. They become more discipline since they need to have a time-management as well in considering extra time for traffic jam or such. They can manage themselves better to be more patient in facing some obstruction there. They might think more critically to find another brilliant idea to fix what have ruined, starting from the planology of the city to the coordination of each government elements. However, it is Jakarta, the place which people say it's promising, place where they believe that they can make dream comes true.

 Let’s create Jakarta as bright as the lights which enlighten every place at there.

Huff

So here I am and am dying. I'm waiting for you, waiting for you

TURN TO 18

THANK YOUUUU

My Life as a Motorcycle rider

Whoa this is my 3rd year in riding motorcycle. Feel like i’m pro enough on this field. I’ve been facing hundred kind of experience occurs on the road which got me amazed and startled at the same time. And yes, there's so many things that i can learn by those nice experiences i've had this long.

The history of myself happen to ride motorcycle started when i was on 10th grade of highschool and my dad had no idea who’s gonna take me to school. Another reason was i got myself tired sitting on public transportation like bus and public minivan for couple of hours. Since my home is pretty far from school and it takes approximately 2 hours by public transportation, i dont think anyone could stand with it in a long term. It’s like, i dont want to waste 2 hours of my life on my way back home. So, at that time, i was learning to ride motorcycle properly until my dad really permitted me riding motorcycle to school. 

Hmmm first i'm gonna share about people judgement on motorcycle rider. Talking about people thoughts, who knows, it’s up to their point of view in seeing the motorist and a girl motorist. Some of my teachers even said ‘motorists have so many credits of life’, the other one said ‘motorists are the wildest creature ever invented on the road.’ We also know that car drivers often blame the motorist for taking the way too close to their cars or suddenly tilt here and there. Yea it’s normal. But not all of the motorist do that same way. Just let it be. However this is part of my journey to reach my goal. I have to go to school back and forth by this motorcycle by myself just to shorten the estimation time to reach home. And by that i can have my study time pretty longer. i was challenged to manage my time as well and manage myself to be independence girl. 

These days, patience might be thing that pretty hard to get. However, whoever is that who’s already put their life hanging around the road, they supposed to know the risk as well and the main requirement; be patience. Besides, our desires is too. When the road is not in peak hour, people are rushing that much. I see it because i’ve ever done it too, a bit or some. And here i got a lesson; whenever you’re rushing, that’s when you take so many risks on yours. How if we can’t brake abruptly when there’s anybody or any vehicle who suddenly cross the road? I think it’s better to just ride in proper speed adjusted by the situation and stay focus no matter what. You got that risk to hit and to be hit by anything. 

I've got so many things to share here but i bet it wouldn't be fit in this page :p guess i'll continue later :D

Intersection

I’m right at the intersection to find my audacity. I’ve been holding onto something which i think i would never loose but now i kinda loose it. And that affects my life pretty much. Hesitation appears out of nowhere and gradually makes the mess out of the tranquility i’ve been having. I have no idea why worry comes after hesitation, it puts me to the corner of the room of confusion which i have no idea how to make an escape from it.

Yet i end up with the idea that i would always have to choose among every options that come through this life. Life is a choice, so pick which one and savor it. I know it’s always a hard time before choosing the options you have no idea how in the future it would be, but yeah that’s it. All i have to do is to think about it deeper and further, righteously. And consider the plus and minus point that might come afterwards. If it takes too many minus, i’d leave it.

You know when there’s a word comes out from anybody which gets you startled, conscious, or even amazed, that might be the message from God. To help you choose which way you should continue your step at. To make you realize of things or to wake you up. 

Take care of things while You can

Hoam. so sad knowing that my lappy isn't woking. It appeared some kind of blue screen when i was about to turn it on, or black screen sometimes. Until it really hit me when it didn't even appear any thing. aouch! i felt so devastated. And i dont know if i actually exaggerated it. but it hurt knowing your one and only amuser on this sort of holiday is gone. Too bad i dont have any close neighboor to be hang on at, so i ended up myself at home mostly play with this red lappy.
I think there's a problem with the cooling system, since i rarely shut down my laptop just instantly close it in stand by mode. i don't even remember when i shut it down for the last time. last year? might be. and i brought it to be repaired, but the first two place i went to said that they couldn't fix it because that pretty much big problem. i was so worried if i had to buy another laptop either i would lost all of the data, photos most importantly and songs. gosh. that got me totally scared and upset knowing the fact that my laptop really -that- broken. until i finally found a service man but he said that it needs 1 or 2 week to make it done and it needs pretty much money. hufff. now im waiting for my lappy to be done. i hope it'd be cool soon. 
By that thing happened to me, i found a little piece thing to learn. about the joy of taking care of any thing. that laptop actually a gift from my dad on my birthday, something that i should be grateful of, also something that i need to take care of. and too bad i was kind of lost the point of taking care of it until it was broken. the same thing happens to us. our healthy and our chance to walk on this earth are actually God's gift to us. something that we should be grateful of and to be taking care of. 

Grab the opportunity!

Another journey has to be taken a look at by you. Assume this situation as someone who wants to see a beautiful scenery from the window. The windows isn’t really clean so somebody has to wipe it clearly, make it clean out of dust and give it some squirt of window cleanser. And there you go, the awesome scenery can be seen thoroughly. That situation is similar just like  what we’re about to go through, the dreams. We want to get it yet it has to begin from ourselves. Clean our mind out of the negative thinking upon someone or something. Clean our heart out of the feeling that might emerge hatred upon someone. Clean our mouth out of words that might hurt other people. Clean ourselves out of the behavior that might lead us to the wrong path. Life’s too short to do something that might let ourselves closer to hell. Wouldn’t life be more beautiful by getting closer to heaven?

Hence, i myself believe that every one of us has opportunity to make life be more meaningful and make dreams come true. So grab it then make dreams happen!

Graduation

I’m officially graduated from the school that needless to say is one of unique thing on earth which flips feeling ups and downs. That school that built me and sent me to the way i’m living right now. The school that caught me in to a sort of cage where i need to dig some holes to get out from it. Feels so relief and sad at the same time to know the fact that i’m no longer a student at that school. However i was a student that ever put my ass on that school feeling the intimate environment that never gets me bored to reminisce about. Feels so relief to finally ship myself away from that assignments i hardly get it done and the exams week i always lable as a hectic time and so sad to leave the chance to share laughter together with friends. Although i know in the world i am about to jump my self on is gonna be ‘more’ than that.

A goodbye is not the end of everything, but it’s another new gate to step forward to another new way of living. Although i know goodbye is pretty hard to say because it needs some kind of courage to believe that someday we would be meeting up again. And i believe we would. Friends, if it’s possible, i want to have another three years with you guys to share story with, to play with, to find another crazy idea all over again. I haven’t known enough everything from every one of us as well, and i still want to dig another cool story that everyone has. We’re 262 persons and we were suppossed to have sort of injury time to at least introduce ourselves to someone we haven’t got chance to be talking with. Wouldn’t it be nice to know each other without any gap in beetween? Man, i missed those chance L

As i pause myself writing this, i realize that my life in that school is really over. Seriously, is it really over? You gotta be kidding me. i’m feeling like i want more and i’m feeling like i’m gonna cry tbh. Man, the friends i’ve been hanging around with is gonna be going out of my sight? Deeply inside of the warmth of that hugs and laughs, i still need you guys around. If only there’s an additional time, i want to create one step closer to always be there in your minds you would never forget.

The memories which remains in every words  i’m writting will always be there upon the hearts. I am so lucky to have these kind of brilliant friends who has added some colors to my life. Thank God, I am so glad to have a chance to know you. you guys have furnished my life as well with some sweet and bitter memories which i always try to look on the bright side. The side which always makes me realize that everything is always have something to learn. Life is a gift, nothing to do but be grateful of it. It’s one of beautiful gift on life to be able to study at that school, to meet awesome teachers and to know you guys. We will always be cool  friends, won’t we?

See you guys in another wonderful place and don’t forget to reach the dreams we’ve been dying to make it happens!

Every cloud has a silver lining

Hey people! You have no idea how many pictures of clouds i found. Haha that might be silly but those could make me feel peace somewhat. Lol. It ain’t bullshit. No kidding, i just love to see that. once i ever lowered my speed while i was riding motorcycle just to see cool cloud over the sky. And somewhat makes me think, ‘wow, i’m living on earth.’

nearly 2010 when i was having a journey to Central Java& Jogjakarta;

Yea we all live in this sucha wonderful world without knowing how God have given us this big awesome nature. Every moment we see any cool scenery that’s the moment when we gotta be grateful that we already given this beautiful chance to live on earth, to look upon that cool scenery, to live the life.

nearly 2011, around the house;

Once when i was in 11th grade, me and classmates looked upon the window surprise to see the cloud formed the shape of heart. Some of us capture it and thought it could be sign. Of love? Pffh not sure but yeah, our own feeling would work to find out what was beyond every kind of shape that cloud had formed. Haha. And when i was a kid, i had a dream to become a pilot or at least a skydiver. Since my home was pretty near from a place so called airport, i was always love to see those skydivers and i wanted to be part of it. Whatta kid. but until now, whenever i pass that region near my old house and see if there’re sky divers, i would love to stop for a sec and stare at them figuring out how if i was there diving over the sky with that parachute. Hahaha okay if i had chance to do that, i’d love to!

earlier these months:

As far as i know, staring upon the sky is one of cool thing to do on earth because it gives me sort of inspiration or spirit or faith or whatever it is that could tell me that i always have to wake up. I dont know, it’s like you got some messages from earth. Haha idk, figure it out then. And if you remember “Every cloud has a silver lining”, it does happen. We have that belief whenever we got every problem or anything that might hinder us from moving forward, there’s always be a way out. Those word give us some strength to walk through this tough moment; time to step to continue our study further. We gotta be sure that we’re gonna pass it all, that God always has a plan for us. Surely without leaving our effort and pray behind, we will get that! I ;) God is there right beside us :’’’) Put the rest to Almighty God.

the idea of learning guitar

Hey. It’s been long time since the last time i wrote somethin here. Now im gonna tell ya about stuff i’ve been up to these days. The fact that i adore One Direction, a band from UK and forever fancy to John Mayer. Haha. And those things got me thinking, why dont i let myself bump into music world? I know in my family there’s nobody could play music, unless my father, a little bit. He acknowledged when he’s young he could play guitar as well. Yet i dont see that now in his adult time. I got an idea to create a generation from the family whose life involves a lot in playing some music instrument. yea i’ve been thinking, how if i was one of those people who appears in YouTube or television. Muahahaha. What am i talking about? But really, that just pops out of my mind. hahaha. Okay. Stop it.

Well since i got the guitar i bought one or two years ago right with my own saving, that pretty much helps me to start my career as a--- LOL stop it. No way. Okay repeat, --that pretty much helps me to find my ability in playing music instrument. See if i could find my soul trembling whenever i plug the guitar strings. Here’s the story.....actually since i was in junior highschool i got the guitar from my uncle, the old one which always got me upset whenever i played it because it never sounded good and since it got so many stickers of my uncle’s, i covered it all with my stickers, like spongebob stickers and such. Until it wasn’t really look as real guitar, more like guitar toy. And I’ve collected some songs with chords from the internet then printed it out. Until now, I still got those print out which becomes a prove that when i was child i was pretty much in touch in playing guitar. hahaha

Until then, as time went by, i decided to buy the new guitar because i was so fed up with that old guitar. At the very first time i bought it, i was so happy that i could play some songs of course with easy chord, practice it pretty often.... yet without knowing that the sound that emit from the guitar wasn’t really koherent. Hahaha. So that time i thought that ‘wow, i can play guitar as well’. But when somebody asked me to play some songs, i put my hands up and said, ‘no i can’t even play guitar.’ And the other day i said, ‘no i can’t play guitar without looking at the chords book’, and so many reasons on. i was kind of missing the point of be able to play guitar as well.

Until it hit me that i decided to put my guitar on its bag and never play it again. Actually because of school’s task or such thing that couldn’t let me to take a glimpse of time to play guitar.

But then after couple of months i left my guitar there, it got so many dust on it. And it pretty made me feel guilty to let my C330A right in the corner of my room standing alone. Then i got an idea to learn playing guitar from YouTube. Haha, why didn’t i try it from the first?

It always got me startling seeing those who could play guitar soou well and yet, it turns me green with envy. Take a look at John Mayer. He could play guitar as well simultanously with singing. His voice is undoubtfully awesome. And the way he sings with that guitar got me soo speechless. Moreover, he’s about to release ‘Born and Raised’ -his newest album- which surely gonna be awesome. He’s. Just. Very. Impressive. Hahaha. And from female, we got Taylor Swift as she can play guitar and sing so well though. And she got me an idea to be just like her--- hahaha kidding. stop it. You have no idea how i really want to learn guitar like a pro. Hahaha.

At the first term of 12th grade i made promise, ‘take your glimpse of time to play guitar’, as a reminder for me not to leave my guitar during 12th grade and to see if i could take guitar as part of my soul. It wasn’t succeed because my life when 12th grade was tragically busy. Until it finally all finished.....and recently, i’m a lot in touch with guitar learning some of my favorite songs, Lifehouse’s You and Me and One direction’s One Thing and a lot more to learn. Haha. Actually i got the fact that music is already there in my soul, i could feel it as well. Since i’ve been hearing songs a lot every day, every time when i get bored, every night when i’m about to sleep and every single time; i could pretty much understand that song’s made with its cool lyrics in it get some energy and spirit that transfer into the soul and somewhat pretty touch my heart. HAHAHA *talking like a pro in music*

The story that never dies

How time flies so fast. Like for real. Seems like i just wear my new white-gray unifrom and now i’m about to get it off. It’s gonna be over. Seems like i just step in to senior highschool and now i have to step out from there. Yeah that might be the thing i’ve been waiting for for some reason. But then, it got me questioning myself, is this really over? Like no more school again, like at all? WOW. I still can’t believe i’ve finally finished it.

So it’s only 3 years and we got it all. Our feeling mixed there, even probably, ourselves changed there. 3 years studying there, 3 years of hearing teachers’ lectures which is brilliant and sure im gonna miss that, 3 years of laughing altogether with you guys, 3 years of seeing that silly moment that couldn’t have been funnier, 3 years of having that galau moment, that sad stories either we oftenly share to friends or we persist to hide, that heart-breaking moment or that heart-racingly exhilarating moment we would never forget, that sick pathetic moment and that amazingly precious moment which could make ourselves giggling all alone if we close our eyes, push the rewind button, take a glimpse of our memories and reminiscing everything we have ever had at that cruel-yet-lovely school. The tears flow between that laughter. That vigorous spirit to reach our goals that makes us don’t want to stop running after it. That endlessly love stories. We got all there. High school never ends!

That unforgetable panicky moment when we’re about to face exams until got ourselves stressed-out like a lot! The other side, that moment when we really have no idea how to answer some questions on exams, and that side when we try to disobey the rules, like, you know. That moment when we think we could pass the test but the result says we have to do remedial. That faces when we know our score after exams, whether remedial or passed. That moment when we got so many exams await and some lessons to attend until got ourself set home only as a place for sleep. Feel like a buzy person every day. Hahaha. Countless school story. Whatta high school.

It’s so cool to have you guys around, to know you guys as friend, to share stories and laughs, to share some foods, to bully some people (in terms of kidding :p), to give some jokes, to ask friends to ditch class, to not doing task together, to share some gossips, to share experiences& knowledges, to open up my mind and to do anything together.

I’m so thankful i bumped into you guys here at this school. It’s one of great moment in lifetime where we could have these kind of bitter-sweet experiences together. I can’t believe we’re already at this point where we’re about to say goodbye. Time sets us apart. Wait, Is this real that it’s time to say goodbye? You gotta be kidding me.

I still want to have some more crazy adventures with you guys, more stories to be told, want to spend my time with you guys exploring some silly things and something which makes me feel so comfort to stand among you guys’ smiles.

And the other human being that have made us to be something; Teachers, you meant so much to us. You give that love which we’d never know, that huge patience we might never had, that spirit we might as well follow, that sincerity we really salute for, that beautiful yet weird stories we’d always love to hear, that screams we really sick to hear and every appealing things i can hardly mention all here. Thanks teacher for every priceless thing you’ve given to us. 

When 11th of April, that was the last day we studied at school, the last day we enjoyed that sort of atmosphere with the teachers, classrooms, friends before we faced our big days. That day we did prayers together asking for blessing from God, teachers, friends. Ask for apology to each other. That day i burst into tears. I just couldn’t hold that feeling when my friends hug me and if i had so many mistakes to you guys, if i had ever hurt you which i unwittingly didn’t know, make you guys upset or feel annoyed because of my behavior and every mistakes i’ve probably made, every single things i should’ve done but i didn’t, every things that seemingly left that uncomfortable feeling in your heart. I just couldn’t hold that feeling when i am not gonna feel that sort of atmosphere again; that jokes that come out from them, that crazy things and everything which remains til right now i’m writing this.

We’re gonna meet each other again. We know this is not the end of everything. “love is not always to have” because love remains forever in heart. Now we’re about to step forward to another way of living. Stepping to further journey we’re about to make in our life, making our experiences that we had at this school as a start in doing anything we’re about to face in the future. The lectures that teachers ever gave, the advices, that priceless things to learn, we’re gonna remember and bring it as a sweet things to lead us to go through another path of this life. We’re gonna make another story that may get the name of our school involves in its plot.

This footsteps that we’ve made here would never be forgotten for forever.

Im so proud. To be here with you guys, to know you guys, to walk through this path with, to chase after our dreams together.

i heart mom

And today i’d like to say how much i want to help my mom doing some house working stuff like sweeping the floor or washing dishes and such. Since our maid is quit so it’s been a week we got no proper help. I could see the floor isnt really clear as it supposed to be and there’re heaps of dishes waiting to be washed there. But sometimes i arrive at home so late, like 8 PM or smth after doing some additional lessons in terms of preparing for the national exam, which make me feel exhausted and it ends up by not helping my mom doing house work at night, and since the next morning i gotta wake up at 4 or 5 AM and go to school again, I cant help to clean the house again. probably it's because of my laziness or because of satan which whisper me to not helping mom. :p

I eagerly want to help dear mom. My apologies for my weak body not helping you around lately. And for my bad behavior not helping you even for some mins. But i intend to help you Friday to Sunday full time. im gonna try and help you as much as i could. There’s no way to me, as the only daughter at home, not helping a mom. It’s a must. And i'm willing to do that. Dear angel, remind me every times when i have some spare times to help mom finishing house work. Because i know i would never able to pay all of your sacrifice, but i’ll try as best as i could. I owe you so darn much and i wont hurt you. My apologies for every bad thing ive ever done this long. This time i also need your support in facing the national exam, the next step of life i got to take later, the college thing i will interfere myself on later. Thanks for uncountable helps youve been giving to me. since you raised me and until now. God please always protect my number one lady, everytime. Give your bless to her. I love her so much. Thank God i have mom like her. Thank God for everything you gave to me today. Yesterday. And later.

National Exams again

February is near. The day to the D-day of National exams is getting closer. Speaking of which, time to study is no longer much as what I imagine. Seems like here's the last couple of hours before the big exams be held. I said 'seems like' which means that how I assume what time is remaining to the D-day. Well it's getting so tough by far. You know the thing about stepping to further study, got me lot of thought. As people say, it scares and amazes at the same time. Somewhat I am scared about how is it gonna be and am excited about the another new world of living. Which also means I'm getting older, more mature, ages are reduced to walk in this world which is a for-a-while life.

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"I got the tire leaked for the 3rd times this month. Tell me this is a good sign"

I tweet-ed that today. It happened when I was in traffic light waiting for the green, by the time I was about to give some gases to go forward I almost fell with my friend. Whoa some ppl were watchin and tellin 'your tire is leaked'. Whoa! I was about to buy something for my other friend actually, but there's an obstacle in doing that. Yea that might be a warning to me. not to take everything easy and to always be ready in every problem I may be facing onwards.

errrr

Well I've been thinking about ‘that one’ again. Ok you know what lu? You can’t be this. Would you get a life lu? You have another thing to think but not ‘that one’, not the train which brings you to the paradise but the motorcycle which leads you to the other new door you need to go through at. Speaking of which, the other tough journey you need to pass Lu. Shouldn't have looked around to the lousy scenery but to look upon the stars and to realize that you gotta get it.

i can't wait

Woke up. And I'm feeling like I want to hug my pillow again and wrap myself with blanket tightly.... Oh gosh I'm so gonna miss holiday. Yet I gotta assume that; later, when all the things I'm about to pass is over, things are gonna get back, I'll be hugging my pilow back after subuh! Soo I can't wait fo that moment

some things i'd like to share, eh?

8 January already! 02.30 AM

And tommorow is gonna be 9 january which will be our first time go to school after having 2 weeks of holiday. So excited about going back to school! I've been missing my friends a lot! My chairmate, my best friends and others. I've been missing their smile and laughter, those things which I can hardly see every time we have holidays this long, if we don't happen spending the holiday with them especially. Hmm I've just watched The Help by the way, but just the 1st part and 2nd part will be watched today at noon. *what’s so important telling that last sentence on blog?*

Ok right now I want to state smth. It's 2. 30 now and I have to wake up at 4. 30 to pray then after that I can go back to sleep again, but I plan to wake up at 7. So the thing is, I had plenty of sleep yesterday, and it ended up me not reading anything I planned I would finish. I still got to write biology summary and do some exercises of UN(National Exams). That are things I wish I had finished before Monday. So today I'd like to try, see if I could make it. And then I need to get some fun, at least before I open the door which lead me back to class again which means I should really need to get a lot more preparation for the UN and other stuffs. Yet I have to remember one thing; as a human who will be struggling upon this UN thing I need extra energy to get myself more focus on everything, the energy is related to my sleep time. If I happen to have plenty sleep, the next morning I'm gonna be careless, focus-less and other-less things. BUT if I happen to have enough sleep for at least 5 hours, or 6, or 4, or some hours which I think I'm gonna feel good enough at, that's gonna get me more focus, and more something. So I've come to a conclusion that sleep is really important in helping me to go through the UN thing and other important stuff afterwards. Well it's almost 3 and I should be getting going to hit the hay. Night people! I mean night my lappy!

I've been thinking to write about 'why school should give students an extra day off'. It comes up by the articles I found which says 'don't let yourself be in a stress or frustating, just go get some fun, however we will always need vacation to free our minds out of heavy thoughts'.

8 January. Evening.

Today I got another priceless thing to learn. About the silaturahmi or ‘visiting the relatives’. One of my grandpa said that 'we need to introduce our children to always visit each other, to keep the bonding between us as a family relation, so later the bonding won't ever be apart'. That was just beautiful thing to learn. I didn't even feel regret having visited my relatives, I could know some sweet story from my big family. Couldn't be happier having relatives like this. Subhanallah. Most of my cousins already got a job with that young faces. They've passed college. I could see a glimpse of their smile which shows a pretty good sign. How sweet! Those things gave me a spirit to go through everything onwards. They all passed the same exact moment as I'm about to face now, the UN. *Anyway it's D-97 to the UN day. Whoa. Let's not panic.* Well, since they could make it; they passed from high school, college, got a job, they're happy, they're already at that point, then why can't i make it? i gotta make it. And those things make me....blown. Cool! I salute all of my cousins and people I met today!