Last Day in October

I am right at the moment where i just jumped upon high rope on a game. It wasn’t so easy cause it took time and effort to finally have the bravery to jump. I was hesitating at the first time whether or not I continue to move forward. My enemy inside my heart kept telling I need to go back instead. I fought for my bad thought so hard.

The point is I can never lose from my bad thoughts. Yeah, I am the one whose thoughts filled with the bad thoughts which isn’t  healthy for my mind, body and soul, I know. I tryna reduce it then. It makes me remember someone who said, "don’t make it to be complicated, don’t yell cause it wont end up something good". Completely agreed with the one whose words keep spinning around my head.

An Irritating Person

i was walking at some open store selling some clothes the other day and my friend was asking me to buy her a white blouse. so i need to capture the blouses then sending it to her phone so she could consider which one she'd choose. but when i passed that store whose clothes i wanted to capture....

storekeeper : what the hell you're doing?
me : i was about to capture that clothes and send them to my friend
storekeeper : what? don't you ask for permission first? (with an outrage upon her resentful face, which makes her look creepy) (........and what i remember the most was her eyebrow, it went up and down almost fell down to her face and made her micro-expression even look more terrible) (...ah yeah and her tone was completely insulting like wanting me to fight with her)
me : ah yeah, ok, i want to capture that clothes to my friend (just realized that i had to ask for permission first and tried to arrange my word and tried to sound cool) 
storekeeper : the hell with it, ask for permit first (the tone was completely more insulting until it penetrated to my heart like a sharp needle) (....she was completely out of her mind to say the word which made her possibly-next-buyer feel inconvenient) ( and....i felt sick to face this person who didn't have a such thing called manner) 
another creepy storekeeper : what's happen?
storekeeper : she wanted to capture this clothes
another creepy storekeeper : that one? no no, don't allow them, don't, don't, don't.... ( a half of that asking-me-to-drive-away tone )
me : thank you

THANK YOU
the last word i said to those horrible storekeepers, completely with that indescribable peevish face.
i was about to say another filthy word as i walked away from that store, but fortunately there's something that held me to say that and be quiet instead. i even still loathe the way she talked til now.

but yeah, let bygone be bygone

if i look at the bright side, saying thank you was the right word to end that almost-begin war. it was actually weird to solely say thank you and walked away, but what else can i say? i uttered that thank-you word also because there's something that held me here, right in my heart

i got this faith. faith to hold this anger to that irritating person. faith to keep myself in sanity. faith to behave as a human. as a girl. as a muslimah

she might be in a high tension, in a period or anything which made her lost all of the nice word and tone  as a normal-kind storekeeper used to say. the other side, me, also forgot to ask for permission first cause i thought it would never mind just like what i did before. But, wouldn't it be nice if you asked me smoothly in a polite way, dear lady?

bright side again, if i hadn't faced this thing, i would never know that people like her is exist in this world.

So, be nice to anything, anyone, anywhere, in any way. just in case if you find a person like her. Cause we never know what condition is going on inside someone else's self :)