National Exams again

February is near. The day to the D-day of National exams is getting closer. Speaking of which, time to study is no longer much as what I imagine. Seems like here's the last couple of hours before the big exams be held. I said 'seems like' which means that how I assume what time is remaining to the D-day. Well it's getting so tough by far. You know the thing about stepping to further study, got me lot of thought. As people say, it scares and amazes at the same time. Somewhat I am scared about how is it gonna be and am excited about the another new world of living. Which also means I'm getting older, more mature, ages are reduced to walk in this world which is a for-a-while life.

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"I got the tire leaked for the 3rd times this month. Tell me this is a good sign"

I tweet-ed that today. It happened when I was in traffic light waiting for the green, by the time I was about to give some gases to go forward I almost fell with my friend. Whoa some ppl were watchin and tellin 'your tire is leaked'. Whoa! I was about to buy something for my other friend actually, but there's an obstacle in doing that. Yea that might be a warning to me. not to take everything easy and to always be ready in every problem I may be facing onwards.

errrr

Well I've been thinking about ‘that one’ again. Ok you know what lu? You can’t be this. Would you get a life lu? You have another thing to think but not ‘that one’, not the train which brings you to the paradise but the motorcycle which leads you to the other new door you need to go through at. Speaking of which, the other tough journey you need to pass Lu. Shouldn't have looked around to the lousy scenery but to look upon the stars and to realize that you gotta get it.

i can't wait

Woke up. And I'm feeling like I want to hug my pillow again and wrap myself with blanket tightly.... Oh gosh I'm so gonna miss holiday. Yet I gotta assume that; later, when all the things I'm about to pass is over, things are gonna get back, I'll be hugging my pilow back after subuh! Soo I can't wait fo that moment

some things i'd like to share, eh?

8 January already! 02.30 AM

And tommorow is gonna be 9 january which will be our first time go to school after having 2 weeks of holiday. So excited about going back to school! I've been missing my friends a lot! My chairmate, my best friends and others. I've been missing their smile and laughter, those things which I can hardly see every time we have holidays this long, if we don't happen spending the holiday with them especially. Hmm I've just watched The Help by the way, but just the 1st part and 2nd part will be watched today at noon. *what’s so important telling that last sentence on blog?*

Ok right now I want to state smth. It's 2. 30 now and I have to wake up at 4. 30 to pray then after that I can go back to sleep again, but I plan to wake up at 7. So the thing is, I had plenty of sleep yesterday, and it ended up me not reading anything I planned I would finish. I still got to write biology summary and do some exercises of UN(National Exams). That are things I wish I had finished before Monday. So today I'd like to try, see if I could make it. And then I need to get some fun, at least before I open the door which lead me back to class again which means I should really need to get a lot more preparation for the UN and other stuffs. Yet I have to remember one thing; as a human who will be struggling upon this UN thing I need extra energy to get myself more focus on everything, the energy is related to my sleep time. If I happen to have plenty sleep, the next morning I'm gonna be careless, focus-less and other-less things. BUT if I happen to have enough sleep for at least 5 hours, or 6, or 4, or some hours which I think I'm gonna feel good enough at, that's gonna get me more focus, and more something. So I've come to a conclusion that sleep is really important in helping me to go through the UN thing and other important stuff afterwards. Well it's almost 3 and I should be getting going to hit the hay. Night people! I mean night my lappy!

I've been thinking to write about 'why school should give students an extra day off'. It comes up by the articles I found which says 'don't let yourself be in a stress or frustating, just go get some fun, however we will always need vacation to free our minds out of heavy thoughts'.

8 January. Evening.

Today I got another priceless thing to learn. About the silaturahmi or ‘visiting the relatives’. One of my grandpa said that 'we need to introduce our children to always visit each other, to keep the bonding between us as a family relation, so later the bonding won't ever be apart'. That was just beautiful thing to learn. I didn't even feel regret having visited my relatives, I could know some sweet story from my big family. Couldn't be happier having relatives like this. Subhanallah. Most of my cousins already got a job with that young faces. They've passed college. I could see a glimpse of their smile which shows a pretty good sign. How sweet! Those things gave me a spirit to go through everything onwards. They all passed the same exact moment as I'm about to face now, the UN. *Anyway it's D-97 to the UN day. Whoa. Let's not panic.* Well, since they could make it; they passed from high school, college, got a job, they're happy, they're already at that point, then why can't i make it? i gotta make it. And those things make me....blown. Cool! I salute all of my cousins and people I met today!

a make-myself-feel-relief writing

I've been being something. Somewhat I feel like detached from world is gonna be interesting. or more like detached from cyber world. Like you have twitter, facebook (no longer touched atcually, but still often to take a look, click upon notifications and find there's just notifications for games then I'll just go close the tab), tumblr, even blogger, and everything else which you realize that having those things that lets you share anything doesn't make you feel any better from the heart break you're suffering. Actually not a real heart-break but it just heart-break-like when your heart feels sooo bad, like your mood is at the lowest point of earth and theres nothing that can boost them back to normal and seems like no one could understand. I've always wanted to tweet about how I actually feel but then I think that's not really important to tell and not cool to let anyone see how bad I've been up to yet I think about people's comment which might appear later in their minds. So I'll just be "better off left some stories untold". But then one question pops out, why wouldn't we just tell?

Okay if I happen to continue about questioning my self a WHY, that'd eat a week to discuss about it. Yea. I'm about to loose mind. Idk why. Tbh I am so scared of my own words, my own heart, my own mind. Idk how it could possibly happen to me recently. It's like my enemy is my own heart, my own mind. Somewhat I have to fight with it unwittingly. And I dunno which is stronger. Yet I have to find the answer. *ok continue* I'm scared of my own thought. That's the problem. Okay I'm afraid I've made this writing like a spinning route which has no end. like, keep talking repeatedly about the same thing. But the thing is.....*15 seconds to think* I don't know, I have no idea. Actually I got some words to tell, but I'm afraid to tell. Feels like there's a missing part of mine which makes me feel this random and scared. Oh Well... forget it. at least i feel a lil bit relief now after blabbering about that asdfghjkl stuff

Anyway, school is approaching. I might as well have to use these last 2days properly.....by...sleeping. Seriously I just found that sleeping is the most heaven-like thing in the world. I mean it gives me jolt of relief. Feels sooo good. My sleep time is now divided by 3 parts. First, 2- 5 or 6 pm then 1-5 am then 6- 9 or 10 am. And I know I'll never have this kind of chance later when school starts. So I think I've been using this chance properly. To take an extra rest. YEA. Have I told you that when I was a kid I think sleeping was just wasting time? now it's all flipped, I'm really proud of myself after spending my day to sleep and I thank God for this :)

by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE, CHEERSSSS! ;)