WHOA

Whoa its December now.

I’ve been facing bunch of exams. You know, 12 grader. It’s getting more hectic, you know, daily exam, weekly exam, monthly, 3-month exam, semester exam. School ends at 3 or 4 pm and then going to additional course until 7 or 8 pm, arrive at home. Having dinner, sleeping. Wake up again in the morning, and start the cycle again. Whoa. Home is now for a place to sleep and have dinner. Tired. Yes. But, it gets me another thing to learn which im about to step to further journey, and before i step on it, i gotta reach the requirement to step on it. To step to university. And it needs sacrifaction. Getting further, i realize that i gotta stay my mind away from unimportant thing, i gotta leave it for a while. At least after this fighting is over. After i get what i want to get. Everyone hopes it’ll worth the effort. So do I. After December is over. Here we go, the real war begins. For real, it’ll be more hectic. But i dont want to scare myself first, i believe this is gonna be over soon.

I can barely enjoy my spare time and feel how time flies smoothly, because all i feel is time is running fast like really fast toward me, and to everyone who got the same feeling as me. I mean look, i feel yesterday was July or August but now is December and about to turn to 2012. Many things i’ve had, in good way or worst, in happiness or sadness, in bitter or sweet way which turn me upside and down, and that gives me something. About the thing which give me a lot of happiness or sadness, about the L word which have pissed me off or even made me messed up, about the low score i got, the best one, and everything. Many things i wanna share here! Haha! Overall, I’d like to tell the conclusion, which is, “experience is best teacher”. I’ve had couple of sweet experiences, and the bitter one also, and those give me um... a thing. Something i can’t tell by words. And the oh-god-i-feel-so-lonely thing actually not true. You are actually not alone when you feel alone. It happens because you just not looking around, when you look around, keep your head up, then you’ll find the solutions. Come from friends, parents, God, even from yourself. When i think i got no where to run, i have God as a place to share, to cry about the bad thing i had, to ask to grant my wish. Friends also, they’re amazing! I can’t picture myself one or two year later after we go to the different university. How would it be? Saying good bye is the hard part, might be. But that doesn’t mean good bye is the end of everything. Oh god, i really can’t picure myself not going to that lovely senior high school again, meeting all friends, class-mates, chair-mates, teachers, everyone. But wait, im not gonna leave that school before i get the requirement right? The journey is still far, look, there’s still January, Febby, March, April and it’s gonna be end at June, or April might be, if it’s going faster. And. I have an aim to make a sweet ending at that school, a sweet ending of high school story. I really need a support to face all this. This is not a world war actually, but i need a support to fight to reach achievement, go get what i want, make my parent happy.

God knows what best for me, for us.

im officially missing this

Hello pippa. How you guys doing? Been long time since the last time i wrote smth here. You know, it becomes more hectic, like really hectic. I pass at least 2 daily exams per week and uncountable tasks per week and i only got 9 or 10 hours at home which 4 or 5 hours for sleep and the rest for doing task, if it possible. See? Can you guys imagine how well i do have to manage my time to do all of the task and study all of the exams? Im pretty much could (not) handle that as well. You know, by the time i arrived at home after having additional courses, all i got was tiredness. I was all tired. Like, oh god what thing do i have to start first? I mean i got a lot of things to do and i have sort of confusion which subject to be done at first, and then i opened my laptop to find an entertaiment such as hearing some musics or watching smth but it always ends up with tweeting or doing unimportant things until i realize oh gosh what the hell i was doing, then i got 3 step away from lappy, then i put the pillow right on my back near my bed, to make me sit still and capable enough for studying, but it always ends up by overslept. I often overslept while sitting and holding my books with my head right headed banging to left or right even to the up and i found myself after i woke up, i got a stiff neck. That’s what i always had this last 2 weeks. And i didnt eat dinner and slept earlier at 9 pm because of too tired to awake. and woke up 2 or 3 hours before i go to school and i was like, gosh i havent done anything aaa and i was rushing doing task and studying. Until im writing this now and realize, i cant be this. Always sleeping earlier is not gonna lead me to accomplish anything. I want the old me. when i could stay all over night and only sleep for couple of hours. I want me to do that again. I got it. There’s no way i would postpond anything or just dont care about my task, yet i have to force myself doing that no matter how tired i am. I need to sacrifice! Sacrifice my time and energy for reaching my aim! Getting my goal! #this is actually my monologue but i dont know who’s gonna hear me so i end up say these things while typing all i say. Goodness, i miss my spare time doing nothing and all i do is just chatting or surfing through this world.

the...thing about...something, eh?

Get a lot of things to do and due in the exact same time isn't letting me to stay calm, somewhat I even got less sleep time. Though besides, I'd love to stay overnight tough. Somewhat funny how I spent my night while everyone was sleeping. Like it seemed quiet and felt peace *haha idk what I'm saying* but really, I bet not only me who feel this way. More benefit is, when you tweet smth on twitter while the timeline is pretty silent, it gets you some kind of pride of tweeting that late *okay that's not important*. Or more like, you could say anything which don't want to be seen by many ppl in case tweeting about 'galau' things or anything secretive. (Ps: based on my experience x) *okay this might be bullshit*.

But you might also think about something or even someone which stuck on ur mind the whole time at midnight whenever everyone in ur house already sleep and thing happen is you'll think about it again and again. and that's when the thing starts. Re-thinking about that, sometimes would lead you to plans about what to do with that thing or that one yet it may lead to problem too, if you thinking too much. and there's no way we would add more problems which might end up with something obnoxious. besides, we dont want world to introduce one life-ruiner to us, right? the one who would probably ruin life because of their attendance upon our mind. we tend to avoid it but then again, it comes over and over and even makes mind apart of several things.

Don't let things caught up on your mind for too long like really long time. Because you can't just waste your valuable time for thinking about smth silly, like, the one you might always think about, in fact the one seems so far away. Because the thing is not always like, you're thinking of someone and that one you're thinking of is thinking of you. You have no idea whether that one think the same or even beyond the contrary. Putting a little of mere expectation to the one you've been thinking of even may distract your concentration among the thing you should be focused on, like school things or another important thing. You might hope but not expect too much from something you're thinking of. Because anything which comes beyond expectations is best one. The 'expecting too much' thing sometimes lead us to worst reality which means something that we're expecting isn't coming through. However we, as a mankind, sometimes may expect something and hope everything we want would come true. But life can't always be that. Only Allah who have rights to flip over our feelings to turn upside and down. Some would be granted but the rest? who knows when Allah would grant it here or in the hereafter.

btw you got it? i think i just talked randomly. well, thats just my idea

LUCK

What's so right about luck? Luck, which is there, inside anyone's self. Does anyone have different luck with each other? Does luck influence one's life? I think it does. It does depend. Depends on what kind of mankind it is. But everything not always depends on luck yet luck does happen in everything. Luck would come over in particular times, although they are not always there when needed.

How if someone got over luck? Like every times in one's entire life flooded with luck. Or how if someone got lack of luck? Not to mention myself but I feel like I have less luck though. Didn't mean to say that I'm the unlucky one but how if that occurred to me or to anyone? And I guess not only me, whose luck is rather low than others....Didn't mean to complain about how much luck I got but I kept questioning myself a why. Somewhat it comes up like "Could this be what I was destined for?"

Until I caught up into a lesson why it could be that way. Maybe I wasn't Born This Way Like Lady Gaga's song yet I Was Born To Be Somebody like Justin Bieber's song. We don't even know when our luck would come through ourselves yet we don't know when they're gone. Somewhat mystic. It's actually God's secret. Luck is God's gift to us. It depends on His grace, How much grace God would like to give to us. That what makes it different. Gift upon anyone is different with each other and we would always have our turn to be given that 'thing', that luck. Every one has their own luck. It's not about envying to anybody whose luck is countless or questioning ourselves a why we're dealing with, but it's all God's way. God always has plans for us. We all have just to be patient and be grateful of what God has given to us. There's no way we could be whining or complaining about the luck. This is fate. Alter destiny? Possibility, there is. yet everything always back to God's way.

you? eh?

you are something. you, the one i've been thinking of. idk how things ever came up this way, how i got those awkward moment, how we got that huge iceberg. the thing is you are too cold, cant possibly break that ice. but i do want to. melt all those ice and be the way as it melt our gaze. idk what actually is. im afraid if i misread. i have no bloody idea. idk what do you see and i dont even know if i see what i see in you. idk if this kills me everyday. probably i exaggerate what im blabbering about, but really, idk. it's all unsure. if i could read minds, i wouldn't possibly misread. do i misread? tell.

oh, what have i been thinking?

18th OF AUGUST

Again, an awesome song

i've been thinking of someone and just realized that imma fool for thinking of that rubbish. feel sorry to myself for wasting my valuable time to wondering about that one. and it kills me a lot why do i ever think IT could happen. i know it sounds stupid why would he ever like me.
 
Boyce Avenue - Change Your Mind 

Intro: Em-D-C-D
Verse 1:
Em           D
There you are with
     C
your perfect way
       D        Em
You’ve got that little 
     D        C   D
shine in your eyes
   Em           D
To hear one word 
      C
would make my day
    D          Em
But there’s no room 
       D       C   D
for me in your life
 
 
Refrain: 
Em   D       C
  Oh  you’ve got me 
     D
down on my knees
Em  D/F# C
  Oh and in my 
     D
mind I can see
Em    D
  How perfect 
     C             D
everything could be
        Em
But you won’t
     D    C
give us a try
 
 
Chorus 1:
           G
If I could change your mind
              C
How would you want me
                  Em
Would you say you need me
      D          C  D
Cause I need you now
 
 
Verse 2:
  Em          D
I try to move on
         C       D
but your perfect way
             Em
Has got this little
      D      C  D
child asking why
         Em
But this world 
       D
keeps spinning
      C
As my heart 
      D
stops beating
          Em
Is there still 
   D      C   D
no room inside
 
 
(Repeat refrain and Chorus 1)

turning age singing this song

hey pals! finally i turn to 17 on August 18th. yeay! the age when person called 'mature'. well, not much bout that

i wanna share this awesome song which i've been hearing for every night ;p idk why i choose this song but it has 'something' related to my life.

probably its lyric?yea its tone and melody also make me feel ease. lol
  
here; Daphne Loves Derby - Tennis Court Soundtrack
  
 
  
Intro: G, D, Em, C
 
                 G D
Where have you been?
             Em        C                G     D   
I've been waiting so long to hear from you.
                G          D           Em             C
And all the things that we said we would do,
G                D           Em
Remains to be plans of the past.
 
G                            D
We've been, we've been too quiet for too long.
Em                                 C
Where is, where is the hope we once had?
G                    D
It's too late to be saved by your charm,
Em                     C
We'll never get this right.
 


 
               G   D                   Em       C
Your words are cold, and the season is too,
        G             D        Em     C
The comfort in your voice is gone.
                  G             D          Em        C
Don't keep in touch, I'm better off all alone.
        G       D                   Em
You've lost everything that I've loved.
 
      Em            C
So is it worth this time?
       Em            C
Am I done in your mind?
        Em                   C
Will I regret once you're gone?
           Em             C
Why did I ever think that we would, we would be good?
 
G                                 D
We've been, we've been too quiet for too long.
Em                                    C
Where is, where is the hope we once had?
G                             D
It's too late to be saved by your charm,
Em                              C
We'll never get this right.
 
Em         C             Em          C
Well, alright, I'm sorry I even tried.
         Em                   C       Em       G
I was a fool to have hope in you, in you.