The Doors

 4 days to 2021

Can't wait to embrace a new beginning. New story and hopefully new chapter as well. 

2020 has been about the doors to me. Once a door has closed, God assured us there're another thousand doors open for you. Pretty much a guide in our map of life saying: not there, not that way. 

You'll be shown obviously the bright side. 

It's actually never a rejection door for you.

It's selectively lead you to your best road. You just have no idea. 

But My Lord knows things best. You could only figure out things this far, but Allah has figured beyond what humans can ever think of. So, why bother worrying?

Life is beautiful, so is the world honey.

... But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.

 QS Al Baqarah : 216

South Tangerang, December 27th

My Emotion Teacher

In a world with full of ups and down

We should get used to rejection and denial

You wanna know what's better?

Having someone said rejection and denial in the first place

Rather than acceptance from someone in the beginning but ended up rejecting yourself or your ideas

Thanks to those persons who become my teacher who taught me that refusal

Turned out, they deserved an appreciation

Thanks for making it easier for me so I don't have to feel that fatigues from accepting

It builds my heart wider and wider so if there's any speck of stain, it won't break the whole milk (Indonesian proverb) 

Diri yang Masih Baru

28th Sept 2018

Kamu bilang hatimu seluas samudra

Pundakmu sekuat baja

Sudah dilakukan segala usaha

Tapi terhenti katamu apa daya

Tentang membuka hati berarti memulai

Membenahi dan memperbaiki diri

Terimakasih telah menghampiri

Hai sesosok yang menginspirasi

Katamu setiap orang datang ada maksud

Apapun itu ku yakin Allah Maha Tahu

Mungkin karna diri ini masih baru

Ku percayakan kepada Allah segala kelabu

The Froth of The Sea

me and my sin

as much as the froth over the sea

countless, spread, and exist

what an empty soul

not sure exactly what is good anymore

it's a mixture of hurting, blaming and much more

forget where to put things you can't control

the froth covers the clear pure water

as if making good scenery underneath unseen

while begging to the Almighty to wipe my froth

Allah is All Merciful, all I know

nonetheless, I realize the froth pretty much adds lesson to me

Finally to A Cave

Finally get to write again

Here I am, feel meaninglessly floating

Drifting by the wave finally to a cave

It was dark and didn't show a glimpse of light

Something told me to keep searching and looking

A clue that has been missing from the first place

After all the struggles, this lady was ultimately taking a step back ward

Saying, I give up

December 2nd, 2019

Lelah Lalu Lupa

Tiba tiba jarak, ruang dan waktu menjadi sirna

Bukan menjadi pilu apalagi sendu

Biar kuserahkan muaranya kepada rindu

Lelah yang datang seketika

Membuat lupa segala indra perasa

Sungguh ingin ku bermain dengan alam saja

Kalau waktunya tiba bisa lebih leluasa

Berdialog dengan alam yang luar biasa

Tangerang Selatan, 14 April 2020

Bukan Hari Ini

Tapi hari itu yang cerahnya menyinari hati

Hati yang terbuat dari baja

Perlahan menurun titik leburnya

Hati yang tak sekuat dulu

Tapi kukagumi pada jamannya

Hari itu atau hari ini

Serupa tapi berbeda

Apapun itu kuatlah hari ini

Agar keterbiasaan yang menguatkan hari yang lain

Tangerang Selatan, 7 April 2020

Fortun Favi Fortus, Dum Spiro Spero

meaning: bersemangat, bersabar, bertahanlah!

Back in August on my days off, I went to Jogja city to (again) find tranquility. Turned out, the very first destination on my itinerary was this fancy coffee shop. Never thought that I and my cousin were the only visitors upstairs. We chatted and took some photos candidly. At the corner, there were these words written in the neon light which really appealing and saying, Dum Spiro Spero. 

Not forgetting to take those words and me in one picture then updated it a couple of days after. I just looked out the meaning right before I posted it. Then, here comes the reason why I got to visit that place on the first itinerary.

Dum Spiro Spero means While I Breathe, I Hope. 

I surprisingly found that tranquility pill at the first moment I was in Jogja. I think it told me: no matter how bad things happen to you, as long as you still breathe, you can always hope. Trust your hope. Just don't worry. Put your highest hope to The Almighty Allah, Rabbul 'Alamin. 

That words strengthen my bond with my hopes upon the sky. The hopes I forgot I once wrote before. It emphasizes myself to never let go off the hope.