im officially missing this

Hello pippa. How you guys doing? Been long time since the last time i wrote smth here. You know, it becomes more hectic, like really hectic. I pass at least 2 daily exams per week and uncountable tasks per week and i only got 9 or 10 hours at home which 4 or 5 hours for sleep and the rest for doing task, if it possible. See? Can you guys imagine how well i do have to manage my time to do all of the task and study all of the exams? Im pretty much could (not) handle that as well. You know, by the time i arrived at home after having additional courses, all i got was tiredness. I was all tired. Like, oh god what thing do i have to start first? I mean i got a lot of things to do and i have sort of confusion which subject to be done at first, and then i opened my laptop to find an entertaiment such as hearing some musics or watching smth but it always ends up with tweeting or doing unimportant things until i realize oh gosh what the hell i was doing, then i got 3 step away from lappy, then i put the pillow right on my back near my bed, to make me sit still and capable enough for studying, but it always ends up by overslept. I often overslept while sitting and holding my books with my head right headed banging to left or right even to the up and i found myself after i woke up, i got a stiff neck. That’s what i always had this last 2 weeks. And i didnt eat dinner and slept earlier at 9 pm because of too tired to awake. and woke up 2 or 3 hours before i go to school and i was like, gosh i havent done anything aaa and i was rushing doing task and studying. Until im writing this now and realize, i cant be this. Always sleeping earlier is not gonna lead me to accomplish anything. I want the old me. when i could stay all over night and only sleep for couple of hours. I want me to do that again. I got it. There’s no way i would postpond anything or just dont care about my task, yet i have to force myself doing that no matter how tired i am. I need to sacrifice! Sacrifice my time and energy for reaching my aim! Getting my goal! #this is actually my monologue but i dont know who’s gonna hear me so i end up say these things while typing all i say. Goodness, i miss my spare time doing nothing and all i do is just chatting or surfing through this world.

the...thing about...something, eh?

Get a lot of things to do and due in the exact same time isn't letting me to stay calm, somewhat I even got less sleep time. Though besides, I'd love to stay overnight tough. Somewhat funny how I spent my night while everyone was sleeping. Like it seemed quiet and felt peace *haha idk what I'm saying* but really, I bet not only me who feel this way. More benefit is, when you tweet smth on twitter while the timeline is pretty silent, it gets you some kind of pride of tweeting that late *okay that's not important*. Or more like, you could say anything which don't want to be seen by many ppl in case tweeting about 'galau' things or anything secretive. (Ps: based on my experience x) *okay this might be bullshit*.

But you might also think about something or even someone which stuck on ur mind the whole time at midnight whenever everyone in ur house already sleep and thing happen is you'll think about it again and again. and that's when the thing starts. Re-thinking about that, sometimes would lead you to plans about what to do with that thing or that one yet it may lead to problem too, if you thinking too much. and there's no way we would add more problems which might end up with something obnoxious. besides, we dont want world to introduce one life-ruiner to us, right? the one who would probably ruin life because of their attendance upon our mind. we tend to avoid it but then again, it comes over and over and even makes mind apart of several things.

Don't let things caught up on your mind for too long like really long time. Because you can't just waste your valuable time for thinking about smth silly, like, the one you might always think about, in fact the one seems so far away. Because the thing is not always like, you're thinking of someone and that one you're thinking of is thinking of you. You have no idea whether that one think the same or even beyond the contrary. Putting a little of mere expectation to the one you've been thinking of even may distract your concentration among the thing you should be focused on, like school things or another important thing. You might hope but not expect too much from something you're thinking of. Because anything which comes beyond expectations is best one. The 'expecting too much' thing sometimes lead us to worst reality which means something that we're expecting isn't coming through. However we, as a mankind, sometimes may expect something and hope everything we want would come true. But life can't always be that. Only Allah who have rights to flip over our feelings to turn upside and down. Some would be granted but the rest? who knows when Allah would grant it here or in the hereafter.

btw you got it? i think i just talked randomly. well, thats just my idea