Belajar dan seterusnya

November 12th, 2019

Hari ini makmuman sama ibuk2 di klinik.. Tadinya mau solat sendiri, eeh ko ibuknya kaya mau ngajakin tapi nggak juga, lalu kubilang, "bareng ya bu.."
Trus beliau bilang, "iya, saya lagi kurang sehat"
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Lalu dimulailah dengan khidmat dibacakannya surat Al-fatihah dengan lirihnya, suara yang terputus, seolah hampir pecah jadi tangis, namun sendu dalam, dan merasuk.
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Langsunglah ngerasa bersalah, jadi kayak ngerepotin yaa kalau jadi bareng gini. Di sisi lain ngerasa salut juga, ditengah kondisinya yang lagi sakit, kayaknya tenggorokannya, tetap bisa se-khidmat itu.
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Trus keinget, orang sakit aja masih disuruh solat. Jadi kalo sehat, ya jangan sampe gak solat. Orang sakit juga makin berlipat pahalanya insyaAllah, karena udah sabar sama sakitnya, dan karena ikhtiarnya untuk solat berdiri jika mampu.
Terlebih lagi, orang sakit aja bisa se-khidmat dan se-khusyuk itu, kalah weh. Orang sehat jangan mau kalah khidmat dan khusyuk okeh?
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Nikmat yang paling sering kita terlupa adalah nikmat sehat dan nikmat waktu luang.
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Mungkin disitulah kesempatan lagi lebar lebarnya dibuka untuk beribadah seluas luasnya.
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Trus liat status seseorang yg lagi dalam kondisi berat yang bilang, ya Allah peluklah aku sebentar saja.
Huhuu siapa yang gak mau dipeluk sama Allah 😭😭

Be Grateful

August 1st, 2019

Have been wandering around hospital for these last 4 months.
And that's the best place to seek gratitude.

If you say you're at the lowest point in your life
You're gonna take those words until you see those person in hospital
The one whose nose was attached to a pipe
The one whose breath was helped by ventilator
The one whose head was bandaged post operation
The one whose skins were stiched

And the picture of a woman took care of her husband, and how a man really took care of his wife, accompanied by her daughter.
Or a child lean on her mother's arm.
Or an old man sat in a wheelchair, accompanied by his sons.

It really is a struggle. Pure sacrifice. Purest love spreads with sincerity.
And surely, heaps of patience surrounded around those hearts.

Somehow all leads to a goal which, i wanna be there for the people i love, my future husband, kids, parents and myself. I have to. Who doesn't?

Until one time I went on mushola, the prayer room, i saw this one man who had difficulties on praying. My tear stream couldn't even be held anymore.

Like how if, after all these eases we got, Allah choose to take the ease to pray.

That must have been hard.

How if, after all these years we're living, we can't get closer to Allah at our elder time, at the very ending of this life.

Like, how, if?

Hopefully we're always be surrounded by the ease of praying, halawatul iman, ease of getting hidayah from Allah SWT.

Mau kan, menang?

Lalu bagaimana caranya bisa menang?

Ternyata kemenangan itu kusadari

Bisa diraih kalau kau bisa berdiri

Tak peduli seberapa banyak luka dari kau terjatuh

Ternyata kemenangan itu

Bukan comparing to others

Apalagi competing to others

Tapi terhadap diri ini sendiri

Asal kau bisa mengalahkan musuh dalam kepalamu

That’s the time when you win

Maka kau, menang

Mau kan, menang?

Thank you, Time

Afterall I’ve been through,

Definitely would like to thank time, for teaching me how, and bigger HOW in comprehending and accepting the fact in this life

Giving me patient lesson, more than I ever imagine

Seeking for a value in every little thing I thought I’d missed

With time, I started to know that it doesn’t take few time to finally see the whole problem

Gathering some proofs and adequate data wouldn’t be completed without time

Til finally, here comes the point where you eventually realize which way you choose

To finally make a step

Brand new one, heavy but strong one

About Instagram

Huh. Instagram isn’t a competition anyway. I actually started to get tired of playing with instagram. But you know I never give up on you. Like, no matter how bad influence you are, you can’t uninstall instagram/ deactivate you account simply because there’s still good in it. As simple as getting free ielts online lesson information, or to know book recommendation, and to look at great dentist work just for your reference.

Deep

What i see and what i hear it's not enough
Think based on what i don't know

Allah says in the qur'an to think many many times

Don't become too confident to something we know
And don't follow something that you're not certain of

Hear first
Cause quran was created by hearing them first
We know people not by seeing them but by hearing them
That's why we must be careful of where we hear things from

- a very well insight from Ust. Nouman Ali Khan

College Drama

Again, a story coming from the hidden notes. When i read it again, I didn't really remember of which situation that got me writing like that, since it's been very long time ago though. What I got is I was having trouble in controlling my time during tightest period on college schedule. Filled with its unforgettable activities outside campus which got me pleasure even though there was actually something that I missed, the time for myself.

Collecting puzzle of heart

Been separated with this gadget and once I looked at Note, wow there were several absurd and random notes hahaha. That was my note I wrote back in 2015. 1647 days ago. What did I have in mind when writing this? :P

Who ever you may be

The moment where you have the urge to write but your lappy was down.
Besides, my lappy was very long time not being used due to tittle detachment of being college student.
so this how. it felt like.

What are you guys up to? was always popped while wondering about my friends in my mind
It's may be for the first time in forever i got to choose how life is, based on no particular given guidelines. You can really pick any variety of color you want, when ever, where ever, who ever you are.

Whoever I May Be, the name of this blog, is finally about to be revealed. Never thought that the tittle turns out to be a question for me at this age of life. It also emphasizes that whoever you want to be in this life, just don't forget where you belong, where your definite estuary, where you go back to where you came from.

Semoga

Kata ribuan makna
Terkandung penuh doa
Mengantri untuk melangit
Menunggu tuk membumi

Kumpulan titik yang menjelma jadi mimpi- mimpi
Biarkan setiap hurufnya meluruh dalam benak

Menyatu dengan untaian harap yang lainnya
Kemudian sisakan ruang mutlak untuk berserah

Ini sebuah kata penuh asa
Sore itu ditulis oleh sang ayah

1st 2019 post!

Never thought that I only made 9 posts in 2018 while I got so many drafts behind this scene :(
Let's make 2019 flooded by my poetic post then :D

Laughter becomes the only thing

When I call the days confusing

Yearning is a relief 

From the story that I receive

It's good to share the moment

To ease what we think is a torment

Reminding the stars that perceive

The lights we used to achieve

Carefully making sure

We are in one path closure