It's time for me to learn

 Any time and this time could be best time for me to learn

stuffs

things

and such

I wasn’t good, I was bad often

Let me drown in the water once, then floats longer

I was dumb and worse once yet I am smarter a little more

Let me fall couple of times, then rise up more and more

I wasn’t good, I was bad often

I can do things sometimes, I skipped things more

I am brave, but scared somehow

What does turn me down, turn me up often

After all, the only option to continue living

Is to moving forward

I can't get stuck cause it wont bring me anywhere

I will have to take a step, always

Little by little to finally reach the designated place Quran has promised

Around May, 2020

LANGIT BIRU, PAGI HARI, DAN HARI ITU

Sebuah kombinasi pas yang baru aku temui

Senikmat kopi hangat terenak yang pernah ku pesan

Siapa yang sangka, ku akan memulai hari itu

Tubuhku saat itu bernafas lebih lapang

Mungkin dari udara pagi yang kuhirup lebih segar

Bisa juga dari langit biru itu

Cerahnya mewakili seisi langit yang menyapa

Merasa aneh, dari rangkaian hari ini

Tubuhku belum terlalu pandai membaca semesta

Terik matahari pagi yang memaksa

Untukku pergi melindungi jiwa

Tangerang Selatan, Maret 2020

-LL-

Surreptitious Prayer

Today my heart was flattered

my aunt called my uncle for me

he said like, I pray for you always, only you, all the best for you

in the middle of my working hour

it really touched my heart 

permeate thru my deepest soul

but I had to control myself

I gulped so hard 

holding back tears

right at the Ashar prayer

I finally burst into tears

hoping that Allah will repay the good deeds my uncle does to me

so does the other people out there

who pray for me

whether it's my friends, relatives, or the one who has prayed for me once

that's the sweetest human thing

He's pretty much the one who knew me well after my dad

knew all my story and such

It wasn't easy for me

but I know, out there, people are struggling way harder than me

I was just given a little.

Welcome 2021

Assalamualaikum. First post in 2021 is here finally!

The year has just turned into the 2nd month but it feels like I had as many stories as a year. This year began with the battle. Fighting against my ego, as well as the virus, striving to protect myself, my family, and relatives who had been infected from worse symptoms. For the record, this was the first time I literally jump right out of my comfort zone. The zone I hardly leave, this time I was forced to snap out of it. When I need time to be alone, detached, and out of reach, I was given that chance for an 'enough' time. It's like when I think I need a break from people and the world, here came that time. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal.

The world isn't just about you but the people surround you.

The Doors

 4 days to 2021

Can't wait to embrace a new beginning. New story and hopefully new chapter as well. 

2020 has been about the doors to me. Once a door has closed, God assured us there're another thousand doors open for you. Pretty much a guide in our map of life saying: not there, not that way. 

You'll be shown obviously the bright side. 

It's actually never a rejection door for you.

It's selectively lead you to your best road. You just have no idea. 

But My Lord knows things best. You could only figure out things this far, but Allah has figured beyond what humans can ever think of. So, why bother worrying?

Life is beautiful, so is the world honey.

... But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.

 QS Al Baqarah : 216

South Tangerang, December 27th

My Emotion Teacher

In a world with full of ups and down

We should get used to rejection and denial

You wanna know what's better?

Having someone said rejection and denial in the first place

Rather than acceptance from someone in the beginning but ended up rejecting yourself or your ideas

Thanks to those persons who become my teacher who taught me that refusal

Turned out, they deserved an appreciation

Thanks for making it easier for me so I don't have to feel that fatigues from accepting

It builds my heart wider and wider so if there's any speck of stain, it won't break the whole milk (Indonesian proverb)